letter from a parent about alienation

Thanks again.

           The judge's thinking was very close to what I thought it was and he is a very fair man - as
           all of our judges have been.

             I think it is probably relatively rare to raise to Mary's level, but the lack of consideration

            for "alienation" as abuse in our case is a problem.    Education should be a high

            priority for legal professionals and the law should be smartly changed to deal with

            this. The fact that "alienation" can rise to the level of child abuse should be motivation

            for courts to discourage it quicker and stronger when there are signs.    The book

            "Divorce Poison" fits Mary like a glove and think temporary changes in custody in early 2009

            might have produced a better result for my sons. The temporary change would have either

             woke up Mary and John or the boys would have recovered somewhat and then the

             whole 180 degree behavior thing (Oklahoma vs. Virginia) would have been relatively obvious.



   The bigger thing that should change is that cases like ours should be treated less like

    a legal problem and more like a family health problem. There probably would still be a role for judge/lawyer
    kinds of people for decision making and arbitration, but "continuity of care" like there is in the medical profession
   is important so that better decisions can be made quicker. Again, Judge P would have never transferred jurisdiction
   like Judge D did and she wouldn't

    have made the decisions Judge M made because she understood who Mary was.

    Judge M wouldn't have made Judge D's ruling at that time because he understood

    who Mary was.

         This system is very similar to a patient having many Doctors that can't talk to each other ---

         There is no chance to come up with a good diagnosis quickly

         primarily because it is built to protect the rights of the parties instead of treat it as a family

         medical problem.    Information absolutely should be kept like Dr's notes and passes from

         decision maker to decision maker.   Deciding without understanding the history is ludicrous.

    The idea of having evidentiary rules for this kind of thing is absurd.   Evidentiary rules should be reserved
    for criminal and civil cases --- not family health issues. The law should be written to quickly push this kind
   of thing into a mediation/mental health kind of system quickly when it is obvious that the parties want to
   fight - especially in cases where children are involved.   The rule should be that all information will be considered.

    Lawyers and judges would still be very qualified to apply the information logically and correctly.   Just eliminate
   evidentiary rules that are designed to protect rights, but end up being used to keep the Dr. from making a quicker
   and better diagnosis.

note : reprinted with permission from the parent. names have been changed. text was not changed.